LEARNING FROM KATRINA

Refiners raise gas prices before Rita Comes Ashore

Special Report, by Grey Owl

HOUSTON (Sept 22, 2005) In an effort to head off reductions in chief executive salaries and pension plans from damages to Gulf refineries in hurricane Rita, major oil companies today raised gasoline prices another fifty cents per gallon across the country. “It’s the least we can do,” said an Exxon Mobil spokesman at a news conference announcing the measure. “People are suffering.”

With oil company profits at an all-time high for the last quarter, the move was seen by Wall St. petroleum analysts as a preventative measure. “It’s only natural for oil company executives to want the increased protection,” one analyst suggested. “After all, these men have families to support.”