Obama Having Second Thoughts About Zalaya Rescue!

(Oct. 13, Washington) In an unscheduled Rose Garden appearance early this morning, President Obama announced that he is having second thoughts about his decision to name Jose Manuel Zelaya Rosales to the newly-created Executive Branch post of “Czar Of All Czars”.

Ex-Honduran president Zelaya is scheduled to occupy Vice-president Cheney’s old west-wing office. “Where I can keep an eye on him,” President Obama said. “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to Jose before he has a chance to re-assume the presidential office in Tegucigalpa.

"In the meantime,” the President said, “he will be in charge of all the White House czars, a sort of “capo di tutti capi” as Vice President Joe Biden put it. “His duties have not yet been defined,” the President continued. “We are still trying to come to terms with Manny’s insistence on carrying a side arm. Seeing that six-gun hanging there on his hip is freaking out the White House staff.”

When pressed by reporters to identify the most serious international relations problem that could develop because of his (President Obama’s) rescue of the Latin American president, Mr. Obama replied, “He wants to sleep on the floor by his desk. He brought a couple of smelly blankets and a straw mat, and around five P.M. he spreads them out on the floor behind Cheney's old Halliburton desk and settles in. My worst fear is that during the night, he’ll pick up a call from Putin or from Ahmad, or become startled by the cleaning crew and start shooting that cannon. The cleaning staff is nearly all Black, you know, and they spook easily. I’m beginning to regret that I rescued him at all.” He added. “I probably should have selected someone less controversial for the post. Like Jim McGreevy, or Eliot Spitzer.”